Keep the closet door closed
Revealing the truth about their sexual orientation, otherwise known as “coming out of the closet” can be a very difficult ordeal for someone who is homosexual. Why is it so hard to come out when we live in such a free society? Could it be that the person feels pressured by family or friends? If they are a celebrity/sports star, could they feel pressured by their fans? According to figure-skating superstar Johnny Weir, the reason he was silent was because he felt pressure from the LGBT community. In his memoir Welcome to My World, he said, “A lot of the gays got downright angry about my silence. But pressure is the last thing that would make me want to 'join' a community.” People just need time to be able to think clearly of whether to come out or not.
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| Johnny Weir |
One major reason why people might not come out of the closet is because they are afraid of rejection. They might be afraid of how their families will react. They don't know if they will look at them the same way again. To state and example, it is a known fact that families that are very religious often have a hard time dealing with their children if they are lesbian, gay, bisexual, etc. In Abrahamic religions such as Islam homosexuality is severally condemned. Therefore, LGBT Muslims have a hard time coming out about their sexuality in fear of rejection, being ostracised or even killed because they are supposedly bringing dishonour upon the family. In the documentary Gay Muslims many gay Muslims talk about how they came out and how hard it was for them.
Link to documentary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1f80pNyoL6A
To conclude, I just want to pose some questions.
1. Why do you think that some homosexuals have such a hard time coming out, and can you think of anyone who has come out even though they have faced a lot of hardships?
2. Do you think that homosexuals don’t come out because they face problems within their religion, culture, family, etc?
3. What if you just found out that one of your closest friends was homosexual? How would you react? Would you accept them, or would you reject them?
Works Cited
Weir, Johnny. Welcome
to My World. New York :
Gallery Books, 2011. Print.
It is not common to perceive homosexuality as a custom part of society. Even though, homosexuality has recently been starting to become accepted by some countries over the world. This is the reason why some homosexuals have hard time coming out, they do not want to be judged negatively in society because they are different. Also, it might ruin their relationships with their family or friends, or because it is against their religion, thus committing a sin.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I don't mind what others sexual orientation are. However, I would react surprisingly if I was to find out that one of my closest friends was actually homosexuals.
In the end, it's none of my business. I don't think my opinion would even matter for someone who is homosexual. It's their life, they should be able to do whatever they want with it.
I totally agree that it is non of our business. We should just live an let live, because they are human beings too, and they deserve to have just as many rights as the rest of us. To be honest, I don't really understand why people who don't even know homosexuals get so worked up when they find out that they are legalizing marriages. Are you the one that is going to be involved in that marriage? The clear answer is no.
DeleteHomosexuals have a hard time coming out of the closet is mainly because of family and society's pressure. They face too many problems such as hate and discrimination from everyone due to their gender and which gender they are attracted towards to. The Muslims Gays i can imagine must have had at a hard time because in Islam it is forbidden to be a homosexual and there are punishments for it, so religion was one of their reasons not to come out of the closet.
ReplyDeleteIf i found out that one of my close friends was a homosexual, to be honest, first of all i would accept them as a friend still because that was the reason for me being a friend with them after all but if they were i would try my best to make them feel out of things and try to defend them so no one can put them down because many homosexuals commit suicide because of that.
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DeleteI agree that it is very hard for gay Muslims to reveal thier sexuality especially to their families because it is such a condemed notion in Islam. I know for a fact that in Pakistan specifically, that if someone finds out that you are gay, and they tell the authorities, then you can be jailed for up to two years. On top of that, there are no laws that protect the fundamental human rights of these people. They aren't even trated as humans, and those who can, try to escape, as you can see in the documentary.
DeleteAlthough it has never been seen, would you support a Muslim country that openly accepts homosexuality?
DeleteFirst of all, if a Muslim country truly follows Islam the way it should be followed, they would never openly accept homosexuality. If this was to happen, I wouldn't necessarily be in the streets fighting for the rights of gay people. As I said before, It isn't really any of my business and because it is condemned in my religion. However, that being said, you also wouldn't see me in the streets fighting against the government's decision to accept homosexuality because, like I said before, I believe in equality. At the end of the day, they are humans, and in Islam (specifically) it is apart of the faith to treat God's creations humanely.
DeleteI just wanted to know, how would you react to an ultra-Islamic nation declaring that they are accepting homosexuality?
I would be surprised like many Muslims if an Islamic nation started to accept homosexuality. In Islamic countries such as Saudi Arabia, Yemen, and Mauritania homosexuality leads to a death punishment. Are the these countries truly following Islam the way it should be followed?
DeleteIn reality, they are following Islam the way it should be followed, because Islam is an Abrahamic religion, and in most Ambrahamic religions, the idea of homosexuality is looked down upon. I know that the Quran defines homosexuality as adultery, so it will never be considered a valid relationship. It is just considered an extra-marital affair. In the Holy Quran,chapter 24, verse 2, Allah states that: "The adulteress and adulterer-flog each on of them with a hundred stripes. And let not pity for the twain take hold of you in executing the judgement of Allah, if you believe in Allah and the Last Day. And let a party of the believers witness their punishment." Therefore, people who are found to be committing adultery, or have been caught in homosexual acts, are whipped 100 time, and they shouldn't be stoned to death. So by stoning homosexuals, these nations aren't really following what the Quran prescribes, but since they are prohibiting the rights of gay marriage, they are following Islam. How about you, do you think that these countries are following Islam the way that it should be followed?
DeleteWhen is come to gays, they are not dealing with it the right way. Like you said, they shouldn't be stoned to death. "The adulteress and adulterer-flog each on of them with a hundred stripes." 100 whips ain't as bad.
DeleteI would have to say it's mostly just because they're embarrassed. I mean look at the way society treats you if your gay. As for person, yes I do know a celebrity named Liz Carmouche. She is a MMA fighter, and I would have to say it was pretty hard for her because she has been living with her partner for years, but she admitted this back in January. Religion can be a HUGE factor in not admitting your homosexuality. In Islam its prohibited to be homosexual, so basically you have many parts of Asia that are Muslim countries like Iraq, Iran, Pakistan, Saudi Arabic etc. that will never accept it. In some countries you might get killed for being homosexual, which is wrong but they haven't reached full capable technology to be open minded. I would accept them no doubt. I may be the most neutral guy with this situation. I call him a "close friend" as you say for a reason, knowing that his homosexual isn't going to change anything.
ReplyDeleteWhen you make friends with someone, you don't really make friends on a sexual orientation basis. You make friends with that person because of their personality. If I found out that my friend was LGBT, then I would be shocked only because they kept it from me. I wouldn't stop being that person's friend because their sexual orientation doesn't define them, and it shouldn't effect our friendship. So I agree with you.
DeleteIn my opinion,I think that'coming out'is difficult for people because of a variety of reasons. One reason could be that that they grew up learning that is wrong to be gay and they are embarrassed because they fear what society will think. Another reason is that they themselves don't want to admit that how they feel. I do think that homosexuals have a hard time coming out because of factors like religion and culture. I know that In Islam you are not allowed to be homosexual which is why Individuals, especially Muslims, find it hard to tell people. If one of friend told me that they were a gay/lesbian I would accept them. Even though I would personally feel uncomfortable because I was taught that it is wrong, I wouldn't shun them because at the end of the day they're still human.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you when you say that it is difficult for people to come out when they have grown up being told that it is wrong. In this kind of situation, the person might feel that it is better to suppress their feelings, so that they aren't judged or embarrassed. I however don’t think that is fair because they are essentially loosing their right to freedom of expression, and every human being should be free. What do you think?
DeleteI can totally understand why people do not come out with their sexual orientation due to the social, cultural, religious discrimination they would face. It is hard to be the odd one out, and stand own your own especially when their is no one their to support you. I personally don't know anyone who came out to be gay or lesbian in my life time. I know for a fact that people get discriminated the most for being gay from their culture. Culture doesn't accept change and they do not promote it because they believe that they have to follow the foot steps of their forefathers. If i found out that one of my close friends was gay or lesbian i would respect their decision and not let it affect my personal opinion of who they are. I would feel uncomfortable around them but eventually grow out of it. I believe its their life and they can do anything they want with it, we are no one judge.
ReplyDeleteI strongly agree with you when you say that “culture doesn’t accept/like change.” There is apparently these set of values, or ideologies that are considered to be ideal, and if you step foot outside of them then you are essentially questioning your upbringing. Being gay is also one of those things that “crosses the line” in many cultures. (This is off topic but..) There are a lot of things in my culture that I don’t agree with, like for one, women have to be the ones to bow down to their male counterparts, and that it is the honourable thing to do. What if the man is abusing her, is she supposed to bow down and take it? Now bowing down to your oppressor is the same if we look at it from the homosexuality point of view. Gay people are expected to suppress their sexual urges, so that they don’t tarnish the family’s honour. Therefore, it can be very difficult and almost impossible for gay people to open up about their sexuality.
DeleteI do not know anybody that has "come out of the closet" but i could imagine the difficulty people might have. I think their biggest obstacle is how they think their lives might change once they come out. Aswell as if it will be for better or for worse, and how they will be treated by society and the people around them. I absolutely feel that various factors keep homosexuals from coming out as they might be aware that the life they live might be significantly harder if they do based on certain factors such as religion, family and culture. If i found out one of my close friends was homosexual i wouldnt really mind. I would accept him and notice that we had a good relationship before he came out and that would be the way things should stay after he had came out.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you, I can only imagine what a gamble it is to come out of the closet, especially considering if you have no idea of how your life will change after you reveal the truth. However, for people who do come out, they probably feel like a burden has been lifted off of them, especially if they are accepted by their family and friends.
DeleteHomosexuals have such a hard time coming out because homosexuality is generally frowned upon by parents, and made fun of by kids. If I found out if one of my closest friends were homosexual I wouldn't care, or treat them any different then I already have.
ReplyDeleteIt’s refreshing to hear that you would be accepting, because there are a lot of homophobic people out there who don’t want to accept homosexuals and are willing to go to any lengths to eradicate them from society. I just wanted to know, if you ever met a homophobic person who is essentially “afraid” of your friend, would you stand up for you friend?
DeleteThank you for asking me this insightful question. I would definitely stand up for my friend. However, I wouldn't try to force the person to alter his/her beliefs on homosexuals because that is probably going to take some time.
DeleteI think that some homosexuals have a hard time coming out and revealing what their sexual orientation is because of the many hardships they face, they come to another world, where no one knows them and those that do know the person are unwilling to accept them for who they are, it’s pretty sad, but unfortunately that is how the world regards homosexuality.
ReplyDeletePeople don’t really accept anyone abnormal and the people closest to you end up treating you differently, including family and friends, culture and religion tell you what is acceptable and what is not and you want to blend in not stand out, this is one of the main reason that think homosexual people don’t come out of their closet.
I don’t know anyone who has ever been homosexual so, though I would like to say that I would be accepting to that one person, I can’t say for sure how I would react. I wish I could say that my reaction would be a very nice one and I would accept them for who they are, open closet and all and treat them they same as before they revealed the truth, is not necessary how I would react.
Again, I am really glad to see that so many people (including yourself) would be so accepting to their friends. What I just wanted to say is that, unless you have gone through the situation yourself, you won’t actually know if you would be accepting towards your friend or not. I would say the same for myself. I would like to think that I would accept my friend because I am educated and know better, but I can't be totally sure.
DeleteEveryone has practically said what i wanted to say and i agree with everyone who has posted thus far,but it is hard for homosexuals to come out, not only for the above reasons, but depending on how your parents are...your parents usually have this life planned for you and one of the reason why it might be hard for homosexuals to come out is not only because your parents having a life planned for you but because they usually want to have grands kids. For instance, in my culture or our culture they would want us to have kids because they can carry on our names, pride and honor, because they will be from our blood line,etc. Which i find stupid of because you can't help who you are, and sometimes when they do come out parents disown you, which is unfair.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with whatever you said. Sometimes, it is so hard to live up to your parent’s expectations. If you can’t then you feel guilty because you want to make your parents proud. My parents are immigrants, and they want me to be the best at what I do. They want me to have everything that they didn’t. Therefore, they have a lot of expectations from me, especially from an education perspective. Sometimes, if I don’t achieve what the want me to then I myself feel guilty for disappointing my parents. That being said, if school is hard, then I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be for someone who is homosexual to come out, especially in our culture, where carrying on the family name is vital. If they can’t, then they are basically bullied by society which is very unfair.
DeleteI think homosexuals have a hard time coming out of the closet because of culture and family. Most cultures frown upon homosexuality and, for those of the people who are homosexual, they may feel like the culture is rejecting them. Along with that, since the previous generation is consistent about religion as a primary source, they are very hard headed about homosexuality. These may prevent a homosexual to come out of the closet.
ReplyDeleteIf someone close to me was homosexual, I'd be totally fine with it and figure out how they were gonna tell their parents. I'd tease them a bit, but not in a way that would be offensive. Kind of like friendly teasing, but not hurtful.
I'm glad to hear that you would be very accepting, and I agree with everything that you have said.
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