Baby Storm with father, David Stocker.
A Toronto couple decided to conceal the gender of
their child in order to keep him/her open to the option of selecting its own
gender. Parents, Kathy
Witterick and David Stocker have named their child Storm and are keeping their
baby's upbringing gender neutral in all aspects ranging from its name to its clothing.
Although the child is born a certain way biologically which is its sex, the
parents want the infant to choose for itself what gender he/she feels
comfortable in. Their reasoning behind this is that they don’t want the world’s gender roles to define their child’s
personality.
I feel that this couple is making their child a social experiment by
taking away its identity. Humans are either classified as male, female,
transgender or another categorized being. By denying their child the label of a
classification which is from Mother Nature is insensible. I don’t understand
how they feel that a child will decide what gender he/she wants to be when they
have been created with the body parts of one gender. If Storm has a vagina
she’s a female and if a penis it is a male, simple as that. This is the time
where parents have to come in and take a positive decision for the baby
because he/she is unable to decide for itself.
Social stereotypes and gender roles will always exist and the only way
to overcome that is to make sure the child’s upbringing is altered. The parents
are teaching Storm to dislike a part of her/him instead of accepting who she/he
is.
When you are born into a gender, you aren’t conforming to anything. This
classification is just a way how we distinguish people due to their sexual
organs. Your biological parts define what gender you are, not the gender roles
one chooses to participate in. For most parts, I think people are happy with the sexual organs they are born with which defines their sex. The only thing they oppose is that gender roles which society attaches to each sex. Looking at the story from the parents' perspective I can see why they made such a decision but I think that they shouldn't deny Storm's biological reality. There's a place to draw a line; instead of broadcasting Storm like a no-name brand, they should raise him/her to break the stereotypical gender roles assigned to man and woman.
Watch the video from the following link it gives arguments from both
sides by the ladies from The View (TV show).
Questions:
- By not being defined as a female or male, aren’t the parents taking away the child’s identity?
- If you grow up genderless, do you think that will cause psychological and/or sociological disorders in a person? Or will it be beneficial for the individual?
- Are the parents imposing the gender free environment?
- Are you happy with your sex? Would you like to have been born the opposite sex due to society's gender roles?
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ReplyDeleteGender and biological sex (penis or vagina) are not synonymous. I suggest reading Gendered Lives by Julia T. Woods to make an informed assertion.
DeleteI agree with your comment and I think its true that the child is going to be confused as to how to act and react in different situations, by taking away the fact that the child is with a gender it will be unsure as to how it should dress, and I think that child need a push as to what to do, especially as to how to treat others and how to act.
ReplyDeleteIf someone is gender-less, it would conflict with the child and how they grow up. If the child was male, he would understand that "this" how I'm expected to act and I will follow that expectation, but if they aren't given any type of focus and just wing it, then there are many things that can go wrong. In my opinion, people need some sort of push in a direction in order to get some good result. I don't know about disorders but, for sure there will be some confusion as to how to act.
I think that the parents are imposing the gender-free environment because the world is not very open minded to new things, they reject everything before the begin to accept the ideas, although it is sad to say it is true.
The parents aren't really making things easy for Storm by making this a huge part of the media, being in the news paper will only make things harder for Storm when it grows older, it won't be accepted into society especially with those who are directly in its community.
I'm glad we have the same opinion on this topic. Yes the rise of confusion in the child can be detrimental to it and I think it will also lead to depression. Storm's parents are making her/him prone to bullying in school because Storm itself isn't strong about its identity. How will she/he stand up for her/himself? Every child has the right to express itself of course, but they should be able to do it while knowing what sex they are.
DeleteI think that he/she will be bullied if he/she does not have a gender and will lead to problems in the future for the child. I agree with Amanjot that the parents had good intentions, but as the parent you want the best for your child so you have to be really careful with what you do with your child and I think the name is also debatable. It will probably be another point to make fun of the child.
DeleteI also feel that the parents think that they thought this one through, and obviously, Storm is their child, and they wouldn't want anything bad to happen to him/her. However, I don't think that they thought about the after effects deeply enough to have it's whole life planned out for it.
DeleteYes once again I am not criticizing their intentions of keeping their baby away from gender stereotypes but I believe that the way they approached this matter through a "gender neutral" way is unhealthy for Storm.
DeleteI believe the parents have good intentions, and are trying to provide an environment where the kid can choose the type of gender he/she is more comfortable with. However,I think this decision will cause a lot of school problems for the kid. The kid might get made fun of, or bullied to a point that he wants to kill himself. All in all, this decision is probably going to give the kid a crappy upbringing.
ReplyDeleteYes I think they have good intentions but the way they are approaching this situation is wrong and will have negative impacts on Storm. Again yea, such actions of the parents will lead to Storm developing several insecurities and in the end she/he might not be able to cope with it and take a serious action. As Storm's parents, the couple should be thinking about what's best for their child in the present and the future. Right now it's only a baby so it's not that big of a deal but when Storm grows up, how will he/she understand society's positive and negative expectations of him/her?
DeleteI totally agree with you when you say that the parents are taking away from the child’s identity, because when it grows up it might be confused. I mean, there are already so many things in life that are so confusing, and this is just something extra to worry about. Having a gender is something that defines you and helps you find your place in the world, and if the baby can’t do that while it is a toddler, a child and teen, again, it might face confusion. We already see that a lot of people face confusion regarding their sexuality, and as a result, they are often rejected or bullied by society. Do the parent’s want their child to be confused potentially for the rest of its life? I don’t really see any possible benefits of this to be honest. I can’t say for sure but in my opinion, the child might form some psychological/sociological disorders because of the confusion that it will face. I think that when it is grown up, it will be confused about its identity and it won’t know where it fits in. Therefore, it might feel like an outcast, which will make it feel socially awkward and unwanted. This sense of being unwanted might cause psychological disorders to set in. Also, the parents are involving the media. If they are trying to help their child find its way through society, and make its like easier, why involve the media, and exploit your child? In my opinion, they are making their child a social experiment. The parents are trying their best to impose a gender free environment by making the child wear neutral clothing, allowing it to play with any type of toy, and also giving it a gender free name. I’m totally satisfied with who I am, and I wouldn’t want to do anything to change that and I don’t really think that I am currently being effected by society’s gender roles. So therefore, I wouldn’t want to be born as the opposite sex.
ReplyDeleteYea a lot of times the adults we hear about today that feel that they were "born in the wrong body" feel this way because their parents didn't nurture them properly. Children are born a certain way, they aren't a clean slate that parents can impose their views upon. Therefore a lot of times these people feel pressured and they start disliking themselves and don't see the beauty anymore with what they're born with. I believe social workers should intervene and see how Storm is doing today now that he/she is one year old. Due to this new method of parenting they might actually be causing psychological impacts on Storm's ability to process things. Gender roles do exist of course and it is a shameful component of our society. But to eliminate the influence from our children's lives shouldn't involve taking away their identity and forcing them to live "gender neutrally." How is that liberating for Storm?
DeleteI know, I don't understand how that baby is being set free. I think that in the future, it might actually feel boxed up, especially because it might feel like a social outcast.
DeleteYeah he/she might feel that no one understands him/her and therefore might exclude oneself from all healthy social activities.
DeleteI think that the parent's are taking away from the child's identity because by not giving it a gender its depriving the child and in turn s/he will be confused when they grow up. I think if a person grew up gender less it would just cause problems including psychological and social issues in the person. They'll grow up not knowing where they belong and will just cause unnecessary hardships. I dont think that it will benefit the child at all because what the child is interested in has nothing to do with gender. If a girl loves sports and video games doesn't mean that she is not a girl because she doesn't like 'girl thing'. At the end of the day, an individual is biologically born with a certain characteristics that identify who they are and helps society function properly.
ReplyDeleteYes I agree that Storm is being prepared to become an outcast an society in the negative manner. I think that the parents have created an unnecessary link between the sex of a child and the societal gender roles. If Storm is a boy and likes to play with dolls, so what? He is still a male and although other parents might find this to be odd, if Storm's parents took proper positive measures, other people would be influenced as well to break the world's stereotypes on gender roles. Instead, the parents used their child to have a negative light shine on him/her.
DeleteI agree with what you have said, and as ikram has said it might create psychological issues and social issues as the child is growing up, because as the child grows there are gender roles on certain things, such as blue is for guys and pink is for girls, or for certain toys, etc. I think the child might grow to be confused of their gender, and what he/she should do or where they belong.Also even if you assign a gender to your child he/she will eventually learn what category they want to fit in. Although, looking at a different perspective, whether you do assign your child a gender or not, they won't know who he/she is because we don't remember what we do as kids, unless you see pictures.For instance, when my cousin was little his mom use to put on nail polish on him for the fun of it, or it was because she wanted a girl...haha but he doesn't remember that nor did it affect him.
ReplyDeleteAlso i'm happy with who i'am and i wouldn't want to change just because of certain gender roles...
DeleteYes I see that all of us are on one side on this issue. But it is critical to acknowledge the opposing side therefore I think that although these actions might result negatively for the child, there is still some hope to change that. Instead of the parents imposing a gender free environment, they should allow the child to choose whatever clothing, toys etc. they like while the child understands what sex he/she is. Also you brought up a good point that as children we don't remember our infant years but the influences we have in those years dictate the type of toddler, child, teen and adult we become. If our foundation from the beginning is shaky, we will never be able to become working citizens unless the problem is dealt with.
DeleteYes, the parents are taking away the child's identity. If not now the child will eventually find out what gender they are and if they act differently the society will judge them. It is better for parents to understand that being a girl or a guy is part of life. It doesn't make sense to take something God gave to an individual lightly.
ReplyDeleteI believe being genderless will cause psychological disorder to an individual causing them to feel isolated from the society. We must embrass our identity, and that has nothing to with your gender. Not knowing your gender however may cause us to lose the sense of belonging.
I am perfectly fine with my sex. Society can view men and women however they desire but that doesn't stop from many individuals to stop being themselves. They still act, behave the way they like despite society's rules. It is important to realize that society changes their views with time and we can't let them affect us.
Exactly, one day they will of course find out what they are. It is the parents' job to educate the child first what it means to be a boy and girl, not what it means to be an empty slate and to be moulded according to the parents' discretion. Religiously speaking yes a lot of people may argue that God makes everyone perfect and we shouldn't try to change what we are. The parents' should be promoting change in society by influencing their child to be an active member that doesn't hide behind gender stereotypes. I'm glad you don't feel held back as a woman because it has its perks like all things.
DeleteStorm clearly looks like a boy. The parents are sick for doing this. A baby is innocent and can't defend itself. These parents are taking advantage of this to draw media attention. If he has a penis he is a boy. If she has a vagina she is a girl.
ReplyDeleteIf you grow up genderless, you will be confused. You will be ridiculed by other kids. There is nothing beneficial about this. These people are pathetic.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to impose a gender free environment. However, don't do it with a senseless infant.
You've mentioned similar points with all the members above and I think we are all on the same side. Yes I can see where you're coming from because of course when children come to a certain age like their teenage years they become independent and make their own decisions. A lot of times the decisions aren't actually hollow but have a good reasoning behind it. However as a baby, you have no way of communicating what you want or don't and neither have you developed your likes and dislikes. Therefore at this crucial time parents should make correct decisions so their child's future is not at stake. Later on if they choose to stray from the societal normal, that can be acceptable as well.
DeleteIt is kind of ridiculous to hear such things from parents. I don't see this as good parenting if that's what they think they are doing. First of all, it's a baby's life that they are playing with. And second of all, it sounds like an experiment, wanting to see the results of what they are attempting to create.
ReplyDeleteThe structure of society is constructed to maintain order, meaning we all have identities that makes us who we are. If we were to tamper with society's structure, it can cause an imbalance to everything.
Therefore, gender matters to the individual as well as society's norm.
On the other hand, it's actually a fascinating experiment, but not ethical to do it on a baby, because the baby has no say.
True I feel the same that the parents are experimenting with their child. Once any damage occurs psychologically, it can't be undone and I don't think the parents realize this. The child will develop more serious problems if they aren't even sure of their own identity. We all strive to find out who we really are, and a lot of times our sex helps us go towards the right direction. Storm in this case is stuck in the middle and his/her parents aren't making the child's transition to a toddler any easier.
Delete1) In some sense, I think they are taking away the kid's identity, but at the same time, they are doing something for his benefit. He/She gets to choose what they want. It is a way of saying he is not going to judged in the future. If he/she likes men, he can be a female and not be criticized, if it likes women, it's the other way around. 2) I'm not sure how it will effect a person biologically. But I can only imagine there might be some side effects to it. Like I said it's only beneficial for him/her because they just denied having criticism from everybody. 3)Yeah I think they are, because that it the whole point of the gender change subject. 4)I am very happy with my gender, and this is because of hard times women have to go through. Pregnancy, and emotions is something large in a female and I'm happy I'm a man :) Just on a side note, that baby is very cute lol
ReplyDeleteOkay but how will a baby decide? How do babies decide anything? Their attention span is so short they are only attracted to colourful shiny things and I think we've all seen the way they act towards new and old toys. I see your point of not receiving criticism but isn't it already happening now? If Storm is a boy and likes males, that is still acceptable in Canadian society and this also applies if Storm is a girl and later on becomes a lesbian. Haha yeah Storm is cute, and I honestly thought its a baby girl but a lot of people say that it's a boy.
DeleteI believe that they are taking away the child's identity, which isnt up to the parents to do. With that being said, I acknowledge the fact that the child can have a say in what they want to be, but they were born with a gender for a reason. If they're a male, they fertilize the egg; if they're female, they carry the egg until birth. There isn't such a thing called a gender-less baby. I think that when someone grows up "gender-less" they're opening themselves up for ridicule and hate. To me, the parents are trying to down right ruin their child's life. I am happy being a male and I credit and thank my parent's for not raising me as a gender-less baby.
ReplyDeleteYes the child can choose to become whomever they want but they are already born a certain sex. They can't erase that reality unless they undergo surgery. Like you said being a girl means she can be impregnated and a boy carries the sperm. The rest of the relations we see to the terms "boy" and "girl" are man made and we don't have to comply to them either. We all have the freedom to choose what we like or not and I think Storm's rights are being taken away because she can't protest against it of course as she is a child.
DeleteI abdolutely do believe that the parents are taking away the childs identity. Leaving the decicion for the child to decide whether it is a male or female is rediculous and will definitely create mass amounts of confusion for the child when its older. Psychological disorders with definitely arise as the child as it will notice that it is treated so very different from the rest of children. The confusion the child grows up with I believe will be detrimental when beginning to form an identity. I am happy with the sex I have been born with. Although a double standard is in place, I like to chase girls, and if I was a girl it would be looked down upon to chase guys the way I chase girls.
ReplyDeleteUnless this "experiment" had been conducted prior to Storm's case and was successful (didn't cause negative impacts on the child) I would be up for it. Of course parents are there to decide the best for their children but in this case I think they've stepped into the psychological state of the child which they are not an expert in.
DeleteThe actions of this couple concerning their child's gender is completely ridiculous to me. This will cause a confusion for the child when they're growing up. And for the parents, what do they say when people ask if they have kids, and whether it's a boy or a girl? Do they reply with "neither"? It's such a moronic point they're trying to make. All babies should be labelled as the biological gender they're born with and if children grow up wanting to be the opposite sex, then they should follow procedures we have now such as receiving counseling to make sure that they are serious about wanting to change their gender. I understand why they did what they did, but I don't think they've considered what they're doing to their "daughter/son".
ReplyDeleteExactly, one reporter brought it up and said that what do you tell all the relatives it's an "it?" I mean it' selfish for them to make such a decision and it seems like they're doing it for their benefit instead of the child's because no one seems to agree with them. Yeah I agree once the child is older and want to actually undergo a sex change, they should be registered to visit therapeutic professionals so they are aware of the good and bad changes that will occur.
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